10% Happier With Dan Harris

A common problem among type-A people is trying to win at meditation. But the practice doesn’t work like that. If you over-effort, if you try to make something happen, it’s pretty much guaranteed not to happen. What is guaranteed is that you will suffer. Meditation is like a video game where you can’t move forward if you want to move forward too badly.  Our guest today is Alexis Santos, who has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of the highly influential Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Alexis is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app and the lead teacher of our On the Go course. In this episode, Alexis recounts his time learning from Sayadaw and shares an approach to meditation that is more relaxed than what many of us may be used to. It just might change your practice. Watch Season 2 of Ted Lasso on Apple TV+. Subscription required. Apple TV+ and/or select content may not be available in all regions. To join the Ted Lasso Challenge by midnight tonight, download the Ten

In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between kindness and what our guest, La Sarmiento, calls “radical kindness,” how to muster the strength to be kind to annoying people while setting appropriate boundaries, the difference between radical compassion and what the Tibetans call “idiot compassion,” and their experience of learning to accept themselves in a culture that is not always so welcoming. Sarmiento, whose pronouns are they/them, has been practicing Vipassana meditation since the 1990’s. They are a graduate of the Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leader Training Program and a mentor in the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program. They serve as the guiding teacher for the BIPOC and LGBTQ+ sanghas at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, DC, where they are also board president. We are bringing you this Ten Percent Happier podcast series in collaboration with the Apple TV+ Original Series Ted Lasso because kindness is a huge theme in the show, and there are many practical l

In this episode we’re talking about how what you believe— about yourself, or about the world — can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you believe the world is a cold and unforgiving place, it can become that way. And if you believe that you have limited capacities for kindness, you can, in effect, make it so. Our guest is Jamil Zaki, who is making his second appearance here on the show. Jamil is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He is a leading expert on empathy and the author of the book The War for Kindness. Jamil discusses three levels of kindness: kindness toward ourselves, kindness in our close relationships, and kindness in our communities. He argues that starting with the self is critical, but also that the kinder we can make our communities, the kinder we will be ourselves. And the more we reorient ourselves to focus on the positive, the more we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of kindness. We are bringing you this Ten

Here’s a question: Is there an evolutionary advantage to being kind?  Our guest today is Dacher Keltner, an eminent scientist who will make the case that, contrary to popular conceptions of evolution (dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest), and contrary to a lot of what we see on the news, our species is actually uniquely wired for kindness and compassion. Dacher Keltner is the Director of the Social Interaction Lab at the University of California at Berkeley, the Faculty Director of the Berkeley Greater Good Science Center, and the author of the book Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life.  In this episode, we talk about Darwin’s perspective on human sympathy and selfishness, where he stands on the question of Original Sin versus Buddha Nature, the importance of touch when it comes to communicating compassion, and the relationship between teasing and kindness.  We are bringing you this Ten Percent Happier podcast series in collaboration with the Apple TV+ Original Series Ted Lasso because kindness

Stress – which many of us despise and try to avoid – does not actually have to be a bad thing. Rather, it’s our relationship to stress, our mindset about stress, that determines whether we are helped or harmed by it. Today’s guest has the science to back this up and the practical tools to help you transfer her insights from the lab to your life. Modupe Akinola is an Associate Professor of Management at the Columbia Business School and host of the TED Business podcast. She is also one of the featured experts in our Stress Better course in the Ten Percent Happier app. In this conversation, Modupe talks about what she’s learned during these extraordinarily stressful last couple of years, what she calls the “stress mindset” (and how to cultivate it), and the vast resources available to us for handling stress (and how to tap them). We also dive into another of Modupe’s areas of expertise: how to have productive conversations around the often stressful–but critical–issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Get re

Friendship might not necessarily be something you’ve considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. On this show, we spend a lot of time exploring how the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives and our health. Sadly, in many ways, it’s harder than ever to make and keep friends.  With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, it’s clear that our society just wasn’t constructed for social connection. And recent data suggests we’re in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever. Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of Homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating “Dunbar's number,” which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and

This great deep-Dharma episode is all about using an ancient, fascinating, and readily-accessible Buddhist concept as a way to improve your interactions with other human beings. The concept in question is called vedana, or “feeling tone.” Our guest, Martine Batchelor, will explain. She was a Buddhist nun in Korea for ten years and is now a lecturer, spiritual counselor, and author of such books as “The Path of Compassion” and “Women in Korean Zen." Two brief notes: First, this episode is a re-run, which we’re doing a few times this summer in order to give the staff a breather, and also to resurface some of our older gems for our newer listeners. Second, this conversation includes some brief references to sensitive topics, including sexual activity and substance abuse. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/martine-batchelor-repost

A lot of us right now would probably agree that the technologies meant to make our jobs easier are actually stressing us out. (Think: the email and Slack messages that never stop and with which you can never catch up.) The worst part is the dopamine hit that you can get hooked on that comes with getting new information, causing you to check your messages way too often. And all of this has been exacerbated by working remotely. In this episode, our guest Cal Newport says that these technologies have created what he calls “the hyperactive hive mind,” and he has a ton of thoughts about how to stop it. He’s a computer science professor at Georgetown University and a New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including A World Without Email, Digital Minimalism, and Deep Work. He’s also the host of the popular Deep Questions podcast.  In this conversation, we talk about how to minimize the impact of the hyperactive hive mind, how the way we work is fundamentally broken, how we ended up in our current work sit

In this episode we’re tackling some thorny dharma questions. For example: How do you love someone without attachment? How do you love yourself when the self is allegedly an illusion?  Our guest today is a repeat customer, Kevin Griffin. He joined us a few months ago in an episode about the nature of craving and addiction. This time, Kevin’s back with a semi-skeptical take on loving-kindness -- that venerable, if somewhat misunderstood, Buddhist practice. Our conversation is centered around a book he wrote, called Living Kindness: Buddhist Teachings for a Troubled World.  We talk about lovingkindness vs. “living kindness," the dangers of modern metta practice, and the idea that you don't have to feel love all the time (but can still seek to handle situations with non-ill-will). Please note: This conversation includes brief references to addiction and other forms of suffering. If you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps: https://10percenthappier.app.lin

It is incredibly common for many of us humans, whatever our gender, to be at war with our bodies -- trying to live up to the people we see in the movies, on social media, or even the versions of ourselves in old pictures. This never-enough-ness can lead to an ambient level of self-loathing that can be incredibly destructive. That's where "radical self-love" comes in. Our guest today is Sonya Renee Taylor. She is the author of three books, including The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. She is the Founder and Radical Executive Officer of The Body is Not An Apology. She has come to this work as a result of her own personal pain, as a Black woman inhabiting a body that she says does not conform to societal norms.  In this conversation, we talk about defining radical self-love (and why she believes it's our natural state), tools for cultivating radical self-love, and the connection between being OK with yourself and the larger society. (Also, just a heads up: There is one brief reference to

Modern life has turned many of us into zombies. We walk around with our noses in our phones, constantly on the hunt. We’re not looking to eat people’s brains, per se, but we are looking for mindless hits of dopamine -- from the latest headline, email, text, or “like” on our Instagram post. This has profound consequences, for us as individuals and for the society as a whole.  Our guest in this episode argues that we need to wake up to this, and learn how to create human connection. Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen priest, and Jungian psychotherapist. He co-founded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care and is the author of Wholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up. Ellison dives into his attempts to rescue the cliche of intimacy, how to build meaningful relationships, and what it means to “Find Your Five.” He also discusses how experimenting with what he calls "healthy embarrassment" (or allowing yourself to feel exposed) makes for better relationships. In fact, he’ll model some of that for us,

Today’s episode is about finding joy, pleasure, interest, and even gratitude in a surprising source: everyday objects and infrastructure.  Our guest Roman Mars is the host and creator of 99% Invisible, a radio show and podcast about design and architecture. It is one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Roman is also a bestselling author; he recently co-authored The 99% Invisible City: A Field Guide to the Hidden World of Everyday Design. Roman talks to us about how he got interested in design, how the name “99% Invisible” came to be, his new book about the under-observed aspects of the built world, the importance of reading plaques and utility markers, design as coercion, and a shared love of 90s punk rock. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Show notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/roman-mars-368

This episode is all about secrets.  Did you know that there are 38 categories of secrets—and statistically, according to Michael Slepian, you probably have about 13 of them right now? Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School. He studies the psychology of secrets — and how keeping secrets affects our social life and work life, particularly as it pertains to trust and motivation. In this conversation we dive into common misunderstandings about secrets, the hardest part about having secrets, the toll secrets take (both physically and psychologically), how other people can help us handle our secrets in a healthier way, and the impact of societal systems and structures on our secret keeping. (One thing to note: There are brief references to abuse and other traumatic events that some people keep secret.) If you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps: https://10percenthappier.app.lin

Sit in meditation for a few minutes and you’re likely to experience pain, either physical or psychological. Hang around the meditation scene for very long, and you are likely to hear the expression, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”  And that’s what this episode is all about -- boosting your pain tolerance through meditation. Because pain really is inevitable, but can you reduce your suffering through mindfulness and compassion?  Christiane Wolf argues ‘yes’. She is a physician turned mindfulness and compassion teacher and teacher trainer. She is an authorized Buddhist teacher in the Insight (Vipassana) meditation tradition, teaching classes and retreats worldwide, and she’s also the author of the new book “Outsmart Your Pain”. In this conversation, we talk about meditation techniques that offer us a better relationship to pain, how to work with the physicality of pain, the stories we tell ourselves about our pain, and seeing pain as an opportunity. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https

It can be incredibly frustrating when life-changing, world-changing concepts such as compassion and kindness are often presented as cliches, because scientific research strongly suggests that learning how to practice compassion -- through meditation and other modalities -- can genuinely change your life. And enough of us did it, it could maybe change the world.  One of the people who is the best at getting this message out, in new and creative ways, is Thupten Jinpa. He is a former Tibetan monk who went on to go to Cambridge University, where he got a B.A. in philosophy and a Ph.D. in religious studies. Since 1985, he has been the principal English translator for His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  In this conversation, we talk about developing a compassionate meditation practice, building kindness and empathy, the connection between intention setting and compassion, and identifying and regulating negative emotional reactions.  A few technical notes: This episode is a rerun. We do reruns when we have episodes that

The craving, complaining, and comparing voice in our heads can be the source of incalculable suffering, but is it all bad? And are there ways to talk to yourself that can turn your inner voice into a powerful ally?  Ethan Kross is a Professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business and the author of the new book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness It.  In this conversation, we talk about why we have voices inside our head, how they can be either a blessing or a curse, how to access your inner coach rather than your inner critic, how changing our outer environment can impact your inner environment, and how you can use the much-maligned social media for support. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ethan-kross-365 

For the uninitiated, Joseph Goldstein is one of the cofounders of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field.  In this episode Joseph covers strategies for getting over yourself. Every year, Joseph does a three-month retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. This year, he emerged with a bunch of thoughts on what’s called “the three proliferating tendencies,” or three “prapancas,” to use the ancient Pali term.  These are three ways in which we perpetuate a sense of self -- not a healthy sense of self, but an unhealthy sense of self. You can think about the process of going deeper in meditation as a process of lightening up or getting less self-centered. Now, you’re about to get a master class in doing just that.  Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/

Today’s episode is about a Buddhist tool for resolving conflict and keeping your relationships healthy. Today’s guest, Kaira Jewel Lingo, was an ordained nun of 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Order of Interbeing, and is now a lay Dharma teacher based on Long Island. She graduated from Stanford University with a B.A. and M.A. in Anthropology and Social Sciences. She’s edited a few books by Thich Nhat Hanh, including Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children. In this interview, Kaira Jewel talks about: the Beginning Anew practice (and how even skeptics can see the value in it); how Beginning Anew can strengthen relationships and resolve conflicts; the four steps of the practice; and her own experience with the practice, as both a teacher of it and a practitioner of it. If Kaira Jewel's insights on gratitude within the practice intrigue or inspire you, you might like a fantastic meditation we released recently on the Ten Percent Happier app called "Daily Gratitude Booster" by Matthew Hepburn. It's the

In a previous interview with Dan, the Dalai Lama said something along the lines of, “everyone’s selfish; that’s the way we’re wired. But if you’re going to be selfish, you should be wisely selfish.” Wise selfishness takes into account the fact that what really makes humans happy is to care for other people. This notion has been a central part of the Buddhist platform for millennia, but is now being borne out in scientific research.  Today’s guest is Emiliana Simon-Thomas. She is the science director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, where she is a co-instructor of its Science of Happiness online course. In this conversation, Emiliana talks to us about the difference between empathy and compassion, how we can be happier by being more compassionate and connected, what we misunderstand about love, and a more scientific definition for that culturally loaded term. Just to note -- this is a re-run of an older episode we pulled out of our vault for a few reasons:  1) It’s summer and we want to give

We’ve been meaning to tackle our relationship to 'stuff' for a while now. This subject can go deep. It’s not just about decluttering (although that can actually be pretty substantial work); it’s about rethinking your whole life.  Recently we spoke to a pair of gentlemen known as The Minimalists -- whose names are Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus. They’re perhaps best known for their documentaries on Netflix: “Minimalism” and “Less is Now”. They also have a very popular podcast and have written a series of books. Their latest book, “Love People, Use Things”, comes out this month. In this episode, we talk about their powerful and painful personal path to Minimalism; the freedom that they say comes from living with less; how to actually do Minimalism; and the pitfalls of the path.  And as a bonus pairing, we’ve brought back a Ten Percent Happier favorite, Oren Jay Sofer. Oren is a renowned Buddhist teacher who has been meditating for nearly a quarter of a century. As part of his training he spent over tw