Film Chat

This week, Danny and Sam eschew theatrical releases in favour of two harrowing explorations of systemic violence that are mainly available on demand - so viewers can despair at the pointless brutality of it all from the comfort of their own homes. Cartel Land is a documentary about two groups of vigilantes either side of the Mexico-US border, which features the most gut-wrenching narrative of power, corruption, and gang warfare this side of The Wire. Watch it on your streaming site of choice: http://www.cartellandmovie.co.uk/watch Beasts of No Nation is a similarly cheery, bubblegum affair about a child caught up ina a horrifying African civil war. Industry insider that he is, Danny read the script for this one back when it was in development. Did Cary Fukunaga and Idris Elba take his thoughtful script notes on board? Did they fuck. You can also watch Beast of No Nation on your streaming site of choice, as long as your choice is Netflix. When not grappling with international misery and chaos, Danny and Sam

In a post-Halloween slump? Cradling your lifeless costumes and wondering how it all went so fast? Chucking your six carved pumpkins in the bin and feeling concerned they'll be too heavy for the bag when you have to take it out? Sounds like you need to hear: a) A somewhat grumpy review of Spectre b) A theory that Angelina Jolie is remaking all the mainstream films she's starred in as arthouse dramas no-one will watch c) The theme from Tango & Cash with Brad Pitt advertising Chanel No. 5 over the top. d) A discussion about Bond, the birds and the bees. e) Some inarticulate gushing about Emily Blunt's crime thriller Sicario f) A big loud fart. For all of the above, except the last one, check out the latest episode. It's our Mona Lisa, by which I mean it seems like it's following you around the room somehow.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On this episode of Film Chat we review The Lobster, a film which sees Colin Farrell give a performance which pushes schubbliness to new unassailable heights. We also spend just the right amount of time championing the film critics we love and probably far too much time shitting on the ones we hate. Newsflash Bradshaw, you're covered in shit! And in what will probably become a weekly segment until mid December we discuss news that isn't Star Wars related and the news that is Star Wars related. It's about a 20/80 split.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dank. Ghoulish. Haunting. Suffused with dread. Danny's bedroom is an upsetting place in many ways, but its unique atmosphere makes it the perfect place to review Guillermo Del Toro's ultra-spooky Gothic romance Crimson Peak. We have not been able to locate the source of that loud regular creaking noise. Scared out of our wits throughout, we tremblingly discuss the latest major movie announcements by the big studios, whose slates increasingly seem to be determined by a loads of Hollywood Alan Partridges desperately pitching to each other. "Erm...young John McClane?" And, clutching at each other for comfort, we cheer the news that Jennifer Lawrence is set to work with Darren Aronofsky. At the end, John Hurt turns up and we flee the room screaming.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Katie's absence continues to take its toll on the general quality of Film Chat as this episode is both underprepared and overlong. This week we focussed all our energy into reviewing the latest Macbeth adaptation directed by Justin Kurzel, starring Michael Fassbender and written by some up and comer called Will.I.Am Shaq Spear? Anyway, despite some ropey dialogue, it's pretty good. We also discuss the latest project by Bong Joon Ho, wonder whether the Thor franchise would benefit from being more like a Flight of the Conchords episode and, following on from the recent news of Brian Blessed's improvised midwifery, we examine the listeners' suggestions for the ideal celebrity birthing partner. SHARE! LIKE! LISTEN! DOWNLOAD! CRY! LAUGH! CORBYN!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On this week's episode Sam reviews A Syrian Love Story, a moving documentary about how geopolitical forces impact the lives of ordinary people. It's a film that is so relevant, intelligent and moving that I cannot think of a joke to write in this bit. We then tackle Ridley Scott's latest film The Martian, all about Matt Damon struggling to survive after being stranded on Mars. Err newsflash Damon there's water on Mars, you're gonna be fine mate. We also imagine what the world would have looked like if Nic Cage had played Aragorn, investigate cinema's relationship with the pope and stay up to date on Vin Diesel's retirement plan...sorry we mean The Fast and The Furious franchise. All this and the usual giggling and dancing that comes as standard.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, Danny passes judgment on Woody Allen's latest, Irrational Man, which sees the veteran filmmaker leap dramatically out of his comfort zone in a story about a neurotic old white guy having an existential crisis. After that, Sam nervously approaches Brazilian thriller A Wolf at the Door, which makes Rio de Janiero simultaneously look like a sunny urban paradise and a den of iniquity populated by dangerous obsessive maniacs. We also discuss how it be raining planned Men in Black sequels at Sony right now, and speculate what Ridley Scott might do with his favourite black goo in the upcoming sequel to Prometheus. Finally, unsure how to end the the podcast, Sam reads out a bunch of Steven Seagal film titles. It is gripping radio.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In this installment, Danny reviews stoner action comedy romp American Ultra starring Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart. Does he have a 'high' opinion of the film? No. The duo then ask Tom Hardy why he's acting so cray cray when we review Kray twins biopic Legend. Elsewhere, Sam Samsplains Damonsplaining to Danny and Danny Dannysplains the latest Ice Cube project to Sam. Then, Sam and Danny Samanddannysplain to their listeners why Idris Elba has taken to the recording studio again to a craft a song destined to be considered as one of the songs in the world. All this and the usual banter, giggling and felching that comes as standard.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fans of seeing humanity's thin veneer of civilisation stripped away to reveal the base creature beneath will love this week's episode as Danny employs a series of bestial growls and grunts to review experimental black comedy Aaaaaaaah! Sam opts for a more ordinary string of ums, ahs, and y'knows in his own look at marriage drama 45 Years. Elsewhere, the team makes some astonishingly cutting contemporary political remarks in a discussion about the super relevant new Bourne film; finds an excuse to check in with Woody Allen yet again; and Googles Wilfred Brimley. The episode is capped off with some innuendo-laden snippets of dialogue from the upcoming Aaron Sorkin scripted Jobs, fizzing with all his usual brilliance but excised from the final film for being too unintentionally filthy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week Sam and Danny tackle two films that uncannily reflect the experiences they've shared over Film Chat's 40 episodes. First off Sam reviews Mistress America about a young, directionless ingenue who is taken under the wing of a go getting, confident bullshitter. No not Film Chat: The Movie! but Mistress America, the latest slice of middle class angst from indie darling Noah Baumbach. Then they tackle a film in which two hunky men bicker, fight and eventually get along. No not Film Chat: The Sequel! but Guy Ritchie's glamorous spy reboot/remake/prequel, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. They also find time to check out the latest movie news surrounding Star Wars, Superman, and ancient Homeric texts. Plus an in-depth discussion of the listeners guilty pleasures and guilty displeasures. All this and the usual backbiting, giggling and arse slapping that comes as standard.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, Danny leapt aboard the Amy Schumer rom-com Trainwreck and Sam snuck a peek at indie hit The Diary of a Teenage Girl, two films that promised them the insights into women they so desperately need despite years spent carefully collecting the What I'm Really Thinking columns in the Guardian. They compared notes and it turns out women have sex and get drunk a lot. Interesting. Sam also ventured into the Spanish noir Marshland, a decidedly male-focused film that promised him the insights into men he so desperately needs despite years spent being one himself. Turns out men solve crimes a lot? When not learning deep shit about gender, the pair of chatters discussed what Dolph Lundgren might get up to as the next Kindergarten Cop, whether we'll see more werewolves (not swearwolves) in a mooted sequel to What We Do in the Shadows, and why Tim Burton picked the wrong name from the Beetlejuice Rolodex when he made Batman. They also met their weekly target of struggling to pronounce 80% of all names. &nb

It's arthouse sandwich week on FilmChat as we lay down a slice of popcorn nonsense, add a filling of Russian navel gazing before topping it off with a piece of commercial bullshit. First off we they take on Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, the fifth film in Tom Cruise's mid life crisis franchise. Did all the running, dangling, hanging and jumping impress them? Yes, sure, why not, and could have done with more. Then Danny tries very hard to give a shit about the Russian epic Hard to be a God. Finally the filmy twosome (people call us that, right?) tackle the much debated Fantastic Four reboot and try to work out what the hell happened. Plus we examine the latest trailer for Hateful 8, discuss Scorsese's latest project with DiCaprio and pay our respects to the late, great Uggie (the dog).  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, two films that each explore identity and the human condition: one by personifying emotions as adorable jumping cartoons, and the other by getting Mick Jagger to have sex a lot. Inside Out is Pixar’s latest, a film about Joy and Sadness getting lost inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl that seems hell bent on reducing everyone in the audience to a weeping, laughing mess. Performance is a 1970 experimental psychodrama in which an East London gangster holes up with Mick Jagger and his two girlfriends to take drugs, make love, and have long debates about whether the lyrics to Brown Sugar are problematic. Best double bill ever? Plus, we discuss Richard Linklater’s flirtation with directing The Rosie Project; the prospects for an overtly comic take on Shaft; and which actor has the best filmography. We also decide the ideal cast for our own personified Inside Out emotions. Sam thought Danny’s choices were awful, but that might have just been Emily Blunt hogging the control panel in his mind.  

On this episode a LITTLE known character makes it to the BIG screen in Marvel's "Ant-Man." Danny and Sam SIZE the film up and aren't SHORT on things to say about this LARGER than life character! Danny also reviews the documentary about Tim Burton's failed attempt to make a Superman film, "The Death of Superman Lives." Whose title doesn't lend itself to any puns. Plus we also discuss the announcements of the Logan's Run remake, the new Minecraft film and an Emoji movie. Does this news make us :) or :( ? Tune in to find out!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, Danny responds to Dear White People, a frank but breezy take on racism in contemporary America, by attempting to solve racism at a stroke with one really great film review. Sam decides find out if his own review of the unconventional Brian Wilson biopic Love & Mercy can do the same for mental health issues. Neither of us succeeds. We also discuss which of us has a better chance of appearing in the next Harry Potter film as a morose teen girl; check out some of our listeners' suggestions for terrible movie double bills; and celebrate iconic composer Ennio Morricone's return to the Wild West as Tarantino asks him to join The Hateful Eight. Listen out for a sneak preview of a soon-to-be legendary score!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On this week's Film Chat the duo review two films that are so similar that they're practically indistinguishable from each other. Danny tackles Amy, the Amy Winehouse documentary which charts the singer's tragically short lived life encompassing her phenomenal songwriting talent, her treatment by the media and her problems with addiction. Then Sam joins him to the review Terminator Genysis, which is essentially the same film but with more time travel and robots. Plus we wonder whether Spiderman's aunt is distractingly attractive and, of course STAR WARS!!!!! STAR WARS!!!!! OMG!!!! STAHFJ WARGSSS!!!!!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. On this podcast we've had 33 episodes of giggling, bad impressions, meandering chit chat and too much singing, and what has that produced? Among other things, a review of The Third Man, the noir classic and Best British Film Ever which is back in cinemas following a digital restoration. Also out this week is Slow West, the unconventional Western that sees Michael Fassbender's sexy gunslinger and Kodi Smit-McPhee's less sexy lovelorn waif trying to navigate the not-at-all-sexy hazards of 19th century Colorado. Did Film Chat like it? Find out in our extremely sexy review. We also discuss: a pair of attempts to bring past hits back to life, as sequels line up for gay plane film Top Gun and angry pagans film The Wicker Man; Paul Thomas Anderson and Robert Downey Jr.'s dream to transform their idea for a live action Pinocchio into a real film; and Film C

Danny and Sam celebrated the diversity of cinema this week by spending consecutive evenings watching two films so different it's hard to believe they can exist in the same medium. The Look of Silence is a wrenching documentary about the darkest extremes of human behaviour and the way we process tragedy; Jurassic World features a man who wants to draft velociraptors into the US army. For the parts of the episode not spent crying uncontrollably or derisively snorting, we discuss all the latest news surrounding Paul Feig's new Ghostbusters film, which recently acquired a hunky receptionist; Eli Roth's Meg, an upcoming disaster movie about a prehistoric leviathan that we have to assume resembles the miserable teen from Family Guy; and possible nicknames for our hordes of fans to use for themselves. We round things off with a musical number to bid farewell one of the greatest actors never to play Spider-Man, the legendary Christopher Lee.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An air of melancholy hangs over this episode of Film Chat, as we turn 30 and reflect on our heady misspent youth. Tearing up the town on wild podcasting binges, banging 7 gram rocks and film-reviewing till dawn, smashing out jingle after jingle until our voices were almost too hoarse to croak out disparaging remarks about Kingsman: The Secret Service... where did the time go? On the episode itself, we take a long hard look at two more miserable ageing artists taking a long hard look at themselves: Jason Schwartzman in Listen Up Phillip and Juliette Binoche in Clouds of Sils Maria. Plus, our suggestions for the best tribute bands fronted by famous actors; our views on Netflix and Amazon's latest movie director additions to their ever-expanding TV empires; and friend-of-the-podcast Woody Allen's confused reaction to the latest Terminator film. Next week: an increasingly sober and mature podcast discusses the top 15 ISAs, which of us would make the best shadow minister for transport, and how to find... &n

As Sam's contract stipulates that he will only review films that cost over £60million to make, Danny is once again forced to take the arthouse bullet and reviews Results - an drama so indie it makes Garden State look like The Maze Runner. The duo then tackle SPY, the latest offering from Paul Feig and Melissa McCarthy. A movie built around the premise that Melissa McCarthy doesn't look like a spy but then if she looked like a spy she wouldn't be a good spy so she's actually a good spy. They also check out the latest movie news, pitch ideas for potential rom coms and generally revel in each other's company.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.