The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Jordan really does read everything. Per episode 572's reverse interview with Gabriel Mizrahi, how do you figure out what to pursue that is uniquely you? The thought of a lifetime of chronic pain after an injury is menacing. What can you do to face it? Does your life have room for people who make you feel small and undeserving? A lot of self-appointed gurus who preach the importance of hustle are doing it without the muscle. Identifying and addressing your own bad patterns should be empowering, not defeating. Jordan talks about a past vacation destination most sane people wouldn't choose. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon

James Clear (@james_clear) experiments with and writes about behavioral psychology, habit formation, and performance improvement through mental models. The Cheat Sheet: Why is decision-making such a fallible process? What are mental models, and how can they help us make better decisions? Why should we collect mental models rather than relying on one as a default to solve all problems? How can we ruthlessly eliminate mediocre results? Where is the Zone of Good Luck and how can we live there? And so much more... With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes a

Judah Pollack (@JudahThinks) and Olivia Fox Cabane (@foxcabane) rejoin the show to discuss their new book, The Net and the Butterfly: The Art and Practice of Breakthrough Thinking. The Cheat Sheet: What is breakthrough thinking -- and how does it relate to nets and butterflies? Though we all have the same brain architecture, why do some of us find breakthrough thinking more natural than others? Learn how to access your brain's genius lounge (without being impeded by your brain's executive office). Understand how your brain pieces together disparate information to solve problems in unique ways.  Spot your own native breakthrough style and cultivate habits that more frequently activate it. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yoursel

If something can be learned, it is a skill. If it's innate, it's a talent. The reality: most so-called talents are skills in disguise, so stop making excuses that you're not talented enough to do things and skill up! Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The concept of "talent" is overrated. If something can be learned, it is a skill. If it's innate, it's a talent. A lot of so-called talents are really skills in disguise. If even one person can learn something through study, coaching, and effort, it's learnable -- therefore, a skill. Next time you put off an activity because you think you're not "talented" enough, try to determine if you're just using it as an excuse. Maybe you avoid shooting hoops with your coworkers on lunch break because you think they're all so much more talented than you. While it might be true that you suck at basketball

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In the process of getting in better shape, is it too much to ask that the people you attract are similarly trying to improve their own lives in some way? Your partner is perfect in every way until the alcohol comes out. How do you deal with this Jekyll and Hyde scenario? You're really just shy, but people think you're arrogant because you don't mingle well. It's a common problem, but we've got an uncommon solution. Can deep work happen in a team setting, or does it need to be an isolated process? Deep Work author Cal Newport weighs in. Does organizing your life by calendar weeks or months in advance put a damper on flexibility? Jordan can't run 25 miles barefoot, but he can do this. Quick shoutouts to Glenn, Nick, and our number one fan (she knows who she is)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at

Steven Kotler (@steven_kotler) revisits the show to discuss his latest book, Stealing Fire: How Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs, and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing the Way We Live and Work. The Cheat Sheet: Why did psychology take a hundred-year detour around the therapeutic benefits of non-ordinary states of consciousness (NOSC)? Learn about ecstasis -- a specific range of NOSC sought by high performers like Navy SEALs and the elites in Silicon Valley. Compare the speed of conscious thought versus the speed of unconscious thought. What's the difference between ecstasis and flow? How MDMA-assisted psychotherapy significantly outperforms traditional talk therapy and medication in treating PTSD -- sometimes curing it completely. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with

Jonathan Raymond (@jonathanraymond) is the owner of management training startup Refound and author of Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For. The Cheat Sheet: What's the real purpose of a business? Why should a business owner or manager treat employees with the same respect afforded to the most valuable customers? Understand why getting rid of old, inherited beliefs about being in an authority position are critical to becoming the kind of leader people want to work for. How can countless microbehaviors among members of a workforce add up to negatively influence a company's culture, and what can we do to address them? Are you a Friend, a Fighter, or a Fixer? Learn to identify your own leadership archetype and work with its strengths and weaknesses. And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisan florist bouquets from bouqs.com. Art of Charm listeners enter promo code CHARM to get 20% off! Freshly dipped strawberries from Shari's Be

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Um, like, so today we're going to talk about filler words -- why you should avoid using them, and how to shed them for good. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're trying to convey a message with credibility, it's not just what you say, but how you say it. Overuse of filler words like "um" and "like" are lessening the impact of that message. Even if we think we've got a handle on filler words by consciously choosing not to use them, tension and stress can make us forget. Like any other bad habits, the filler words we use need to be attacked with deliberate practice. You may not even be aware of the filler words you use. Record your side of a few phone conversations using an app like TapeACall or Call Recorder for Skype. Get a simple audio editor like the free Audacity; edit out all of the filler words from your conversations above.

Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache author Susan Winter rejoins us to answer a couple of questions that were addressed to her and help with our usual assortment of email in this Fan Mail Friday. Let's get to it! In this episode: Should a broken relationship be mended when the primary glue is guilt? It says more about the people who have cheated on you in multiple relationships than it does about you when you're always faithful and loving. But maybe you should review your selection process. Is there help for an attention craver who knowingly jeopardizes relationships by habitually flirting with strangers? Let's unpack the relationship exit strategy idea we talked about in Susan's episode and never got around to finishing (sorry)! How do you get over the jealousy you feel when your partner brings up past sexual exploits with other people? Is it possible to set new boundaries in a relationship (especially a marriage) once old ones have been established? Quick shoutouts to psychologist Linda and Lyft driver S

Dr. Travis Bradberry (@talentsmarteq) is the award-winning co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart, the world's number one provider of emotional intelligence tests and training. The Cheat Sheet: You may know your IQ (intelligence quotient), but do you know your EQ (emotional quotient)? Unlike IQ, which tends to stay the same throughout life, emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Emotional Intelligence is determined by self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. You may test with a lower EQ score than you'd like -- just ask Jordan and Jason. This only means you've got an easier map directing you toward what you should improve first. Why might you be calmly efficacious in life-or-death situations but freak out when faced with The Guacamole Problem? And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo des

Peter Diamandis (@PeterDiamandis) is the founder of the XPRIZE Foundation and co-author of Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World and Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think. The Cheat Sheet: What does the future hold for human longevity, space colonization, artificial intelligence, and beyond? How can we adapt -- individually and as a society -- to deal with increased automation in the workforce? What is linear thinking and why does it cause us to miss the mark when coping with technology, innovation, and the advancement of the human race? If you don't know your calling in life, your calling in life is to discover what that is. What experiments can kids curious about science do that won't get them put on a no-fly list for the foreseeable future? And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet presence?

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about how gratitude may be a buzz word you're tired of hearing about, but it's a fact: people appreciate being appreciated. Here's why we should be showing gratitude for the things others do for us now rather than later. The Cheat Sheet: Far from being a woo sentiment, gratitude is a powerful motivator. We often take the little things people do for us for granted. What would happen if we started showing appreciation for them? A little kindness doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Think of ways you can thank people who warrant gratitude -- the more immediate, the better. Even a Post-it note on your coworker's computer screen thanking them for the donut they brought you this morning will be appreciated. Try to overcome whatever weird feeling you may have about expressing gratitude toward someone you don't talk to very often. This, too, will be appreciated. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARME

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listen to hours of personal growth podcasts like The Art of Charm every day, how can you be sure that you're not just wasting your time consuming all this information for nothing? A long-time listener tells us why he recently unsubscribed. Jordan shares another one of his shady teenage exploits. You'll always have to compromise in relationships, but you won't have to settle. If you've been in a relationship for a little over a year, is it a red flag if neither of you have brought up the "L" word? Quick shoutouts to Tristan in Lviv, Ukraine and Will Bezbatchenko in Kyrgyzstan! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natu

Jocelyn K. Glei (@jkglei) is a writer who is obsessed with how we can find more creativity and meaning in our daily work. Her latest book is Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real Work Done. The Cheat Sheet: Do you spend 30-40 percent of your work week managing email? Learn why email is a random rewards system and why it's so addictive. Understand why checking email feels so productive when you're not actually doing anything useful. How does email act as a weird form of kryptonite when it comes to social interactions? Discover why we need to let go of the idea of inbox zero. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! With pain-free invoicing, Fres

Michael Breus (@thesleepdoctor) is a clinical psychologist, board-certified sleep specialist, and author of The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype -- and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More. The Cheat Sheet: Do you live with an undiagnosed sleep disorder? Evolution suggests such disorders are becoming increasingly common. Anybody who has over a 17 and-a-half inch neck has about an 82% chance of having sleep apnea. And 56% of people at some point during an average week will have a bad night's sleep. Why do some people tackle the world best as early birds while others are more effective as night owls? What's your chronotype: are you a lion, a bear, a wolf, or a dolphin? Learn how living according to your own chronotype can make dramatic improvements to your life in as little as a week (even if your significant other's chronotype doesn't match yours). And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisa

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, guest and To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others author Daniel Pink rejoins us to talk about using processing fluency -- particularly through rhymes -- to get our message to stick. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The more memorable your message is, the more likely it is to have the desired effect. Studies have found rhyming to be one of the most powerful ways of of conveying information. Rhyming increases processing fluency -- that is, "how easy it is to understand the message and help it go down," explains Daniel Pink. "Things that increase processing fluency [such as rhyming] are often believed at a deeper level." Along with rhyming, alliteration and repetition increase processing fluency. Put it to the test. See how you can slip this technique into everyday conversation without sounding like Dr. S

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: When you start your own business, how do you help the people around you understand what you're doing? [Related: Clay Hebert | The Perfect Intro (Episode 555) and AoC Toolbox | Perfecting Your Elevator Pitch (Episode 550)] Do you bear some responsibility for allowing psychopaths or sociopaths into your life? Do you ever find yourself struggling with the tension of vision, effort, and drive while maintaining and earning any form of confidence? [Related: Oliver Burkeman | The Antidote to Positive Thinking (Episode 556)] When and how should you respond to public criticism -- especially when it may have an impact on your job? On white privilege, babies, bathwater, and, if not universal truths, then universal hunches based on perspectives intrinsic to the meat suits in which we reside. Most documentaries Jordan comes across seem to have

Jonathan Fields (@jonathanfields) is a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and award-winning author -- most recently of How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom. The Cheat Sheet: How do we make sure we're not overextending ourselves in some areas of our lives while neglecting others? A good life is more about meaning than happiness -- happiness is a byproduct. What's the Good Life Bucket model, and how can we apply it to our own lives? Learn how to break out of autopilot and live a more reactive life that gives back in proportion to what you put into it. Take the Snapshot360 Quiz to discover how your buckets of vitality, connection, and contribution currently score (and how you can improve them). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Learn ove

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) talks about imposter syndrome and how to cope with the feeling you'll be uncovered as a fraud for being unworthy of what you've worked hard to achieve. [Photo by xmith xmith] The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you've gotten undeserved reward or recognition from accomplishing something -- and it's just a matter of time before someone uncovers you for the fraud you are? This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome. Almost everyone experiences this at some point -- but it's especially prevalent among high-performers. Imposter syndrome is often suffered silently, because the person experiencing it usually doesn't realize it's not unique to them and that there's a name for it. What lesson can The Ramones teach us about overcoming imposter syndrome? Learn why keeping a journal helps remind us of what we've achieved when we're in doubt of our credentials. And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. We all have emotional buttons that set us off for some reason or another. But we don't have to be at their mercy if we understand where they come from and what they're trying to tell us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The emotional buttons that set us off aren't logical, but they can be identified and defused logically. These emotional buttons are most easily pressed by those who are closest to us. They know how to push them because they're the ones who helped install them in the first place! The root cause of why these emotional buttons are so powerful is due to one of two things: it calls attention to something that's partially true and bothers us about ourselves, or it's contrary to one of our core values and it offends us deeply. This week, try to observe what emotional buttons are most easily triggered and try to determine which of