The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time we examine why being an amateur sometimes works to your advantage when you're tackling a problem that all the experts say is unsolvable. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're an amateur trying to solve a problem, you don't know what doesn't work. Contrast this with an expert who approaches that same problem as someone who usually has all the answers. When an expert is stumped, the problem remains unsolved. But the amateur, not knowing any better, can often approach the problem from an angle the expert never even considered. Where repetition numbs the expert, an amateur's relative incompetence begets innovation. Call it beginner's luck if you like, but no matter how new you are to the banquet, you've probably got something to bring to the table. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Ch

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you being overprotective, or does your sibling need more help than you can offer? How should a personal trainer respond to someone who wonders if they're obese -- without giving them a fat prescription of excusamine? How does a relative unknown in the entertainment industry hungry for meatier projects successfully network with bigger names who are harder to reach? [Related: The AoC Social Capital Program] How can an aspiring attorney be poised for legal opportunities related to cryptocurrency in the years ahead? Can someone learn to be less defensive? Documentary of the Week: Get Me Roger Stone Quick shoutout to the ladies over at the HQ of the American Cancer Society! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to talk some sense into us about first love fantasies, knowing the difference between good and bad relationship advice, and why she considers the concept of closure a myth. "Falling in love is not about relationship compatibility." -Linda Carroll The Cheat Sheet: Breaking away from first love fantasies. Why falling out of love is not a reason to leave a relationship. Four good reasons to leave a relationship. The myth of closure. What we can do to move on from a relationship that's ended. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/640/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard Ab

Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) is a comedian, actor, Emmy nominee, bestselling author, and host of Mohr Sports from Los Angeles and Mohr Stories. "Desperation has a very distinct scent." -Jay Mohr The Cheat Sheet: How Jay Mohr dealt with panic attacks while working on Saturday Night Live (and how panic differs from fear). Jay's secrets to being a better impressionist. What it's like to start out as a stand-up comic at age 16. The power of sincerity and real storytelling in comedy. How Jay copes with imposter syndrome. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/639/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, friend and former guest Cole Hatter of Thrive (September 29th-October 1st, 2017 in Las Vegas -- use promo code AOC at checkout for a big, big discount if you're planning on going) joins us to explain how we can ensure we're making the best decisions by using absolute truths to guide us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: We're all the products of our decisions -- so how do we ensure we're making the right decisions that will benefit us in the long run? Create absolute truths -- core values or beliefs -- in relationships, career, health, and spirituality. These absolute truths act as compasses toward which we align our decisions. Acknowledge which of these two types of decisions we're making: inconsequential or defining moments. When you come to a defining moment, ask: a) What are my options? and b) What are the poss

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does the conversation often move on before you've had the time to formulate a response? Is the perfectionist inside of you too restless to enjoy how good you've really got it? How can you tell legitimate coaches apart from the money-grubbing shysters? Do you consume so much information that it's hard to make any of it stick? How can you become better at thinking on your feet in considering counter-arguments and debating your position in the moment? Why doesn't Jordan sound like he's from Michigan? What's the best way to deal with a "friend" who can't be happy for your successes? Documentaries of the week: Get Me Roger Stone and Happy People: A Year in the Taiga. Quick shoutouts to Dr. Freda Tyson in DC and Marie Saint-Pierre from Montreal! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at frid

Bill Nye (@billnye) is a lifelong champion of science who is determined to teach you something today that you didn't know yesterday -- whether it's from a television screen or next to you at a dinner party. His latest series is Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix, and his most recent book is Everything All at Once: How to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tap Into Radical Curiosity, and Solve Any Problem. The Cheat Sheet: Why denying proven science -- like climate change and the efficacy of vaccination -- is in nobody's best interest. On reinvention and pivoting: How Bill Nye went from Boeing engineer to television personality. Why episodes of Bill Nye The Science Guy are still being used to teach kids science two decades after they first aired. How to look at the world with radical curiosity. Why it's key to internalize our fears in order to move forward. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/637/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Betterment is the larg

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Never let it be said that The Art of Charm would discourage you from being the best you can be. But have you considered the merits of lowering the bar? Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Setting your bar for success too high can result in the opposite of the desired effect. Rather than putting yourself in the path of a disempowering emotional state, consider the merits of lowering the bar. Focusing on goals that are far away or can only be experienced in a distant (or alternative) future means we never really experience rewards for our efforts. Instead of saying something like, "I'll be happy when I'm thin and muscular," say, "I'll be happy when I go to the gym." Immediately achievable goals set by a lower bar are far more effective in getting you to your desired target emotion than the cycle of failure triggered by a bar set too high. To l

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does Jordan still use any skills he learned in law school? How can you get rid of uptalk and vocal fry? Interesting feedback: Quite a few Russians and Ukrainians wrote in to agree with recent guest Timothy Snyder's take on tyranny. How do you break the news to your religious, conservative family that you've got divergent ideas? Listeners offer further advice for Former Fatima from FMF 121. Ever considered joining the Peace Corps? Another listener has advice for Torn Between Two Paths -- also from FMF 121. Do people with dyslexia display unique body language? Have I remained true to my purpose laid out in an interview with Jason Steinle way back in episode 34 -- ten years ago? Documentary of the Week. Quick shoutouts to Jay and CJ -- engineers who helped Jordan record some amazing upcoming interviews in NYC -- and Eric, who sent so

Tim Grover (@ATTACKATHLETICS) is the legendary trainer called upon by athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant when they want to be at the top of their game. He's the CEO of Attack Athletics and author of Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable. "Unless you have that mindset, skillset does not matter." -Tim Grover The Cheat Sheet: Putting aside inspirational Internet meme bromides, What does it really mean to be relentless? Why does every team need cleaners, closers, and coolers? Relentlessness can be taught; we all have a trigger that puts us in the zone to maximize our pursuit of excellence. Learn how to increase your threshold for high-pressure situations to perform better under stress. Find out how to harness your dark side and not let it control you (while understanding the consequences). And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/636/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers rec

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part two of a two-part episode; listen to part one here! The Cheat Sheet: We continue Jack Barsky's story that began in episode 633. Make sure you start there! How Jack handled a double life -- complete with two families. Why the once-powerful allure of Soviet-style communism began to wane over time for Jack. Why Jack decided to stay in the United States and become a "real" American. How Jack shook his KGB handlers. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/635/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Distinctive style meets unique spirit in the all-new crossover Toyota C-HR. Check out Toyota.com/C-HR to learn more! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one free month + 50% off three months here! Betterment is the largest independent online

This Minisode Monday, we examine how even the most reliable news sources and documentary makers skew the facts or present half-truths when reporting -- often unintentionally -- we just don't notice it unless it happens to be about something with which we're already familiar. It's a reminder to always consider multiple sources if we want to be truly informed on any subject. The Cheat Sheet: We all get news from somewhere. But how do we know our sources are reputable? The truth is, even with the best of intentions, every journalist gets it wrong sometimes -- because nobody's an expert at everything. Chances are pretty good you've been aghast at poor media coverage of a subject in which you consider yourself well informed -- at least once in the entire time you've been consuming news and documentaries. Watch a media production by a news agency or a journalist about a subject in which you are an expert. Take note of the gaps in the coverage. We tend to notice such gaps when we have a good grasp on the subject it

Liz Dolan (@SSLiz) and Larry Seal (@IHateMyBossShow) from the I Hate My Boss podcast join us for this Fan Mail Friday to answer your work and career-related questions, so let's cut to it! In this episode: Company loyalty vs. personal goals when a change in ownership is pending. Have you outgrown your "negaholic" friends at work when they're always complaining about the job you love? Hey, ambitious but unfulfilled intern! Should you stay or should you go? How do you reasonably cope with an unmotivated boss with divided attention -- when that boss is your dad and his attention is divided by family medical issues? What can you do to "forget" your nerves and be confident around your boss? (Warning: advice may vary depending on the business culture of your country.) It's tough being at a small company you really like when you have to report to a "leader" who doesn't take their role seriously. What are your options? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@thea

Christian Picciolini (@cpicciolini) is an Emmy Award-winning television producer, reformed extremist, co-founder of peace nonprofit Life After Hate, and author of Romantic Violence: Memoirs of an American Skinhead. "Hatred is born of ignorance. Fear is its father, and isolation is its mother." -Christian Picciolini The Cheat Sheet: How the marketing of extremism has evolved to become more palatable to the masses. How identity, community, and purpose drive extremism -- not ideology. Why extremism and race identity are popular with youth now more than ever before. What we can do if we know someone involved with -- or thinking of becoming involved with -- an extremist group. How an ex neo-Nazi skinhead became a uniquely qualified peace advocate to help others avoid walking in his footsteps. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/634/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part one of a two-part episode; stay tuned for the second installment next Monday! "The only advice I can give young people is the following: 'It always takes longer, and it always costs more.'" -Jack Barsky The Cheat Sheet: What Jack Barsky's childhood was like in postwar East Germany. The stickiness of Soviet-style communist ideology and how it appealed to young people on Jack's side of the Iron Curtain. How spies were recruited and trained during the Cold War. What skills Jack used to assimilate seamlessly into American culture. Why caution is a spy's best friend; paranoia is his enemy. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/633/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 to

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Are there any benefits to suppressing emotions vs. acknowledging them? Here's an exercise to ensure you're doing the right thing. Many thanks to recent guest and How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain author Lisa Feldman Barrett (hear her full show here) for helping put this one together! The Cheat Sheet: Suppressing emotions is like putting a bandage over an infected wound -- it's only putting unpleasantness out of sight, not healing it. Even if it makes you feel silly, you need to acknowledge the true set of emotions you're having in order to process and move on. One way to do this is to write down your emotions. Are you hurting? Ashamed? Jotting it all down and noting how comfortable or uncomfortable these emotions make you feel forces you to face what you might otherwise be subconsciously avoiding. Give it a try this week

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: As a "nice guy," how do you let go of an ex -- who attempted suicide when your relationship ended -- without feeling heartless? Listener feedback for Nouveau Tech (from FMF 119) about how to respond next time the opportunistic entrepreneur ex makes contact. Listener Sweet Cheeks weighs in on what she does when male coworkers dismiss her statements with infantilizing condescension. Sometimes even gun-toting manly men need real talk from honest friends -- boundaries be damned! When you're fresh out of college, don't be too quick to dismiss the experience you can get in your ideal field from working at a non-ideal place of employment. Listener Westbound and Down tells us how he used Reddit to ask questions of locals prior to moving to a new town. Is there a kind way to discourage stalker-like attention from a socially awkward person without crushing

Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) teaches interrogation and behavior science on a tactical level for the US military, created The Behavioral Table of the Elements for behavior analysis in interrogations, and is the author of The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior. "Instead of trying to figure out what a person's good at, try to figure out what they want to be seen as being good at and you'll get ten times the results." -Chase Hughes The Cheat Sheet: What is the Behavioral Table of the Elements and how can we use it to determine the likelihood that someone is telling us the truth? Why Chase considers polygraph tests "just about as accurate as a coin toss" -- and how they're actually biased against people who tell the truth. What someone training to spot deception indicators and stress might learn from watching Conan O'Brien interviews. How training ourselves to be subconsciously aware of truth signals clues us in when someone who's lying deviates from them. How to hack authority for influ

Aaron Walker (@VFTCoach) has almost four decades of successful entrepreneurship under his belt; he rejoins us to talk about his new book, View From the Top: Living a Life of Significance. "I'm always looking for a way to make it happen, not excuses why it won't work." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: Aaron grew up with nothing; discover what significant mindset shifts along the way changed his own results. Understand why we should fear missing opportunity more than we should fear failure. The importance of living proactively instead of reactively. The value of participating in a mastermind group. How a personal tragedy led to an entirely new way of thinking for Aaron. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/631/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Vanessa Van Edwards (check out our full episode with her here) rejoins us to talk about value languages -- the motivations we have for entering into relationships with each other. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Ever wondered how to hack motivation? It begins by understanding what people really want out of a relationship. If you think about it, all relationships are transactions in which we give and take resources. Value languages are what we hope to get out of a relationship; they can be any of the following: Information Goods Status Service Love Money Vanessa gives us ways to practice how to recognize what value languages are being used in our own relationships so we can best address the motivations behind them. This week, take a look at brags and complaints when you hear them and try to match them up with these different value lang