So Very Wrong About Games

Dexterity games, dismissed by many in the board game world as children's toys (whereas, by contrast, we laud them as children's toys), can offer a unique window into the player's soul. A fine dexterity game is a crucible in which one's true character emerges. Are you an assertive, grandiose table-hog capable of great feats but undone by hubris? Are you a small-minded, plodding dilettante lacking in ambition or imagination? Junk Art can reveal all! Games Played Last Week: 02:11 -Age of Innovation (Helge Ostertag, Capstone Games, 2023) 13:33 -Paku Paku (Antoine Bauza, Ravensburger, 2017) 14:49 -Belratti (Michael Loth, Mogel-Verlag, 2018) 16:47 -Revive: Call of the Abyss (Helge Meissner, Kristian Amundsen Østby, Eilif Svensson, and Anna Wermlund, Aporta Games, 2023) 22:13 -Tetra Tower (Uncredited, Enksy, 2014) 24:27 -Junk Art (Jay Cormier & Sen-Foong Lim, Pretzel Games, 2016) 27:47 -General Orders: World War II (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2023) 36:30 -Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Ti

There's no time no time at all we must get to the games there's been so many all the time one after another hurry hurry we must get to all of the games 01:26 AYURIS: Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:07 -Septima (Robin Hegedűs, Mindclash Games, 2023) 10:42 -White Castle (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2023) 16:25 -Paku Paku (Antoine Bauza, Ravensburger, 2017) 20:45 -Nekojima (David Carmona & Karen Nguyen, Unfriendly Games, 2023) 25:02 -Catch the Moon (Fabien Riffaud & Juan Rodriguez, Bombyx, 2017) 27:25 -TEAM3 GREEN (Alex Cutler & Matt Fantastic, Brain Games, 2019) 30:58 -Piazza Rabazza (Guido Hoffman and Jens-Peter Schliemann, Zoch Verlag, 2022) 33:43 -Tumblin' Dice (Carey Grayson, Randy Nash, and Rick Soued, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2004) 35:38 -After Us (Florian Sirieix, Catch Up Games, 2023) 43:12 -Raising Robots (Brett Sobol & Seth Van Orden, Nauvoo Games, 2023) 46:49 -Moonrakers (Max Anderson, Zac Dixon, and Austin Harrison, IV Studio, 2020) 52:

The shift from Beckett references to low-grade puns might strike one as jarring, but it is important to note that both hosts have essentially been twelve going on sixty for most of their lives. If it's not juvenile and/or obscure, it is difficult for the hosts to process--they become disoriented and frightened. In such circumstances, a nice Star Control II reference will probably calm them down. Hey, there's one of those in this episode, too! Games Played Last Week: 01:52 -Great Western Trail: New Zealand (Alexander Pfister, eggertspiele, 2023) 07:03 -FlickFleet: Xeno Wars (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2022) 13:04 -White Castle (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2023) 16:38 -Forgotten Depths (Peter Albertson, Void Knight Games, 2022) 20:37 -Omicron Protocol (Brendan Kendrick & Bernie Lin, Dead Alive Games, 2022) 29:09 -Among Cultists: A Social Deduction Thriller (Stefan Godot, Godot Games, 2023) News (and why it doesn't matter): 38:40 Rafter Five: Dexterity from Oink Games 39:23

One has to be careful in buffet situations. There are so many options, and you are pulled in so many different directions. You must differentiate the false urgency from the genuinely pressing, and it is a test of your evaluation and timing skills to successfully navigate your priorities. What to do, and when? How much of what? If you fail to make the wise choices, you might not get through the dessert.  Games Played Last Week: 02:20 -IKI: Akebono (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French, 2023) 08:22 -Inhuman Conditions (Tommy Maranges & Cory O'Brien, Web published, 2018) 13:19 -FlickFleet: Xeno Wars (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2022) 18:09 -Gods Love Dinosaurs (Kasper Lapp, Pandasaurus Games, 2020) 22:35 -That's Not a Hat (Kasper Lapp, Ravensburger, 2023) 26:00 -Fun Facts (Kasper Lapp, Repos Production, 2022) 31:33 -Sail (Akiyama Koryu & Korzu Yusei, Allplay, 2023) 35:51 -Sunrise Lane (Reiner Knizia, Horrible Guild, 2023) 38:55 -Sky Team (Luc Rémond, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2023) News (and why it doe

"'Well, I remember it as though it were an episode ago' Said Walker the Host as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter May have nestled its way into his mighty throat Many a poor design had met its demise while staring point-blank down The cavernous barrel of this awesome critical machine Truly a wonder of nature, this urban gamer Walker the Host had many a story to tell And it was a frequent occasion such as this that he did ... 'Say Bigney, do you wanna play games with me? Say, Bigney, do you wanna play games by my side? Ah, Bigney, do you wanna play games with me? Say, Bigney, SAY, BIGNEEEEEY'" -Walker the Host, lesser-known variant of Tommy the Cat (Primus, 1991) 02:12 AYURIS: Bitoku (Germán P. Millán, Devir, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:32 -Imperial Miners (Tim Armstrong, Portal Games, 2023) 07:34 -Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021) 12:00 -Knarr (Thomas Dupont, Bombyx, 2023) 12:39 -My Island (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2023) 16:41 -G.I. JOE Deck-Vuilding Game:

On October 27th, 1962, a man named Vasili Arkhipov saved the world. Literally. Had he not stood up to his commanding officer and refused to launch a nuclear warhead during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the resulting retaliations would have obliterated all human life. Probably the marmosets and gibbons, too. We here at SVWAG think the man deserves a holiday in his honour, especially given that we all owe our lives to him. October 27th is Arkhipov Day. Games Played Last Week: 01:05 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2022) 05:56 -Voidfall (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Mindclash Games, 2023) 25:58 -Louis XIV (Rudiger Dorn, alea, 2005) 29:46 -Terraforming Mars: The Dice Game (Jacob Fryxelius, FryxGames, 2023) 33:26 -Trailblazers (Ryan Courtney, Bitewing Games, 2023) 37:08 -Argent: Mancers of the University (Trey Chambers, Level 99 Games, 2015) 46:06 -Planet Unknown (Ryan Lambert & Adam Rehberg, Adam's Apple Games, 2022) 48:50 -Cockroach Poker (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Magier Spiele,

"Somethin' tells me it's all happening at the zoo I do believe it I do believe it's true The monkeys stand for honesty Giraffes are insincere And the elephants are kindly but they're dumb Orangutans are skeptical Of changes in their cages And the zookeeper is very fond of rum Zebras are reactionaries Antelopes are missionaries Pigeons plot in secrecy And hamsters turn on frequently What a gas, you gotta come and see At the zoo" -Simon and Garfunkel, "At the Zoo", clearly written about contemporary board games 01:39 AYURIS: -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:28 -Knarr (Thomas Dupont, Bombyx, 2023) 06:05 -Trolls & Princesses (Pim Thunborg, Game Brewer, 2023) 13:14 -Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021) 17:11 -Neotopia (Orlando Sá and André Santos, Arcane Wonders, 2023) 24:27 -Trailblazers (Ryan Courtney, Bitewing Games, 2023) 28:21 -Federation (Dimitri Perrier and Matthieu Verdier, Explor8, 2022) 34:21 -Whirling

It's all Fat Bear Week and puns this week, both of which share one important characteristic--they have distended, pendulous bellies. Wait, that wasn't it. It's that they are both to be respected for their power and danger. Those people you hear about who try to live with bears always suffer the same fates as the serial deployers of puns, in that they are both found dead and alone.  Games Played Last Week: 01:42 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2022) 04:45 -Don't L.L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021) 08:02 -Can't Stop (Sid Sackson, Playte Games, 2023) 14:23 -Hybris: Disordered Cosmos (Damien Chauvreau, Aurora Game Studio, 2023) 27:38 -Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020) 28:52 -Fast & Furious: Highway Heist (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2021) 32:32 -Trolls & Princesses (Pim Thunborg, Game Brewer, 2023) 37:06 -Battle Card: Series 1 (Nils Johansson and David Thompson, Postmark Games, 2023)  News (and why it doesn't matter): 40:32 A Study in Em

We turn to yet another discussion of important issues in boardgaming, this time  WE INTERRUPT YOUR SILLY EPISODE NOTES FOR A SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT It is fat bear week! The possibility of a US federal government shutdown has been averted, and thus the voting public (even foreigners, we won't tell) may vote on which lorge bois of the ursine variety shall take the prize! For those uninitiated, the US National Park Service runs a bracketed competition to determine the preferred corpulent bear. Note: none of these bears are anthropomorphic, nor have any been inadvisably given projectile weapons. 01:20 AYURIS: Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:45 -My Island (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2023) 08:23 -3 Ring Circus (Remo Conzadori and Fabio Lopiano, Devir, 2023) 14:36 -Uprising: Curse of the First Age Expansion (Cornelius Cremin, Pawel Mazur, and Dirk Sommer, Nemesis.Games, 2023) 16:38 -Sky Team (Luc Rémond, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2023) 24:21 -Green Team Wins (Nathan Thornton, 25th Cen

Any old person could consult Wikipedia, but only the true elite tune in to SVWAG to hear Walker summarize random boat-related articles for them. It's a power move to rival even the most outrageous exploits of the viking peoples.  Games Played Last Week: 00:50 -Faeries & Magical Creatures (Glenn Drover, Foridden Games, 2023) 05:27 -Dogfight! (Carlo A. Rossi, PSC Games, 2023) 09:48 -Ceylon (Chris Zinsli and Suzanne Zinsli, Ludonova, 2018) 12:10 -Almost Innocent (Philippe Attali, Kolossal Games, 2023) 16:55 -Barrage: The Nile Affair Expansion (Tommaso Battista and Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2022) 22:33 -Jenga Maker (Uncredited, Hasbro, 2022) 25:21 -Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Scrawlers--Heroes of Waterdeep (Vangelis Bagiartakis and Konstantinos Karagiannis, WizKids, 2023)  27:53 -3 Ring Circus (Remo Conzadori and Favio Lopiano, Devir, 2023) 33:16 -Paku Paku (Antoine Bauza, Ravensburger, 2017) 36:39 -Emerge (Adam DeYoung, Pandasaurs Games, 2023) 42:18 -Albedo (Kai Herbertz, Herbertz Entertainment UG, 2017

We return to the bizarre cant of Letterkenny, invoking specifically the term "ferda," which is a contraction of "for the boys/girls." It is a great way to punctuate a sentence, especially if you do not wish to be understood--but that is true of all cant. Relatedly, if you haven't already, please do peruse our own glossary on sowronggames.com! We are not above our own cant, especially given our penchant for acronyms. Games Played Last Week: 02:07 -My Island (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2023) 05:48 -Too Many Bones: Unbreakable (Josh J. Carlson, Adam Carlson, Logan Giannini, and Josh Wielgus, Chip Theory Games, 2023) 11:14 -El Grande (Wolfgang Kramer & Richard Ulrich, Hans im Gluck, 1995) 15:03 -Asgard's Chosen (Morgan Dontanville, Mayfair Games, 2013) 19:07 -Wild Tiled West (Paul Dennen, Dire Wolf, 2023) 24:33 -Dawn of Ulos (Jason Lentz, Thunderworks Games, 2023) 26:41 -Marshmallow Test (Reiner Knizia, Gamewright, 2020) 28:04 -Kabuto Sumo: Total Mayhem (John Brieger, Michael Dunsmore, and Tony Miller, BoardGameTabl

Walker and Huey voted to end the game early, but there were then procedural questions as to whether that warranted a runoff in the French Presidential style. Chip III repeated his preference for a ranked-choice voting system, but he couldn't decide whether his second choice was a single transferable vote or first past the post. Meanwhile, Mark gerrymandered the rest of the table into one sprawling district, and made three new districts intersect at his spine so he got three votes to everyone else's collective one. He moved, seconded, and veto-proofed a motion to the effect that everyone else should stop talking. 00:59 AYURIS: Cryo (Tom Jolly & Luke Laurie, Z-Man Games, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:23 -The Witcher: Old World (Łukasz Woźniak, Go On Board, 2023) 11:55 -My Father's Work (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2022) 15:09 -City of the Great Machine (German Tikhomirov, CrowD Games, 2023) 20:47 -Gang of Dice (Reiner Knizia, Mandoo Games, 2022) 23:10 -Tinderblox (Rob Sparks, Alley Cat Games, 20

No cats were harmed during the recording of this episode. Official SVWAG cat Chandler (aka Potato aka Chan-Chan aka The Chan-Man) had his dignity challenged when Mark laughed at his strange partially-shaved body, but we don't think that counts. Official SVWAG dog Bruno (aka The Dog) resents human non-walk activities, but again, that probably doesn't count. The editorial gibbons and the HR gibbons colluded to classify Mark and Walker as "sub-animal automated speakboxes" and then took Labour Day off. Games Played Last Week: 01:10 -Marshmallow Test (Reiner Knizia, Gamewright, 2020) 03:30 -Amun-Re: 20th Anniversary Edition (Reiner Knizia, Alley Cat Games, 2023) 05:52 -Everything Ever (Nathan Thornton, Floodgate Games, 2023) 10:28 -Sushi Boat (Dario Massarenti and Francesco Testini, Japanime Games, 2023) 14:49 -Fit to Print (Peter McPherson, Flatout Games, 2023) 20:58 -That's Not a Hat (Kasper Lapp, Ravensburger, 2023) 22:18 -Lunar Rush (Steven "Skippy" Brown, Dead Alive Games, 2023) 29:03 -Aegean Sea (Carl Chudy

I was originally going to riff on Ginsberg's Howl, but I confess I had completely forgotten what a monster of a piece it is--redolent in imagery and references that are very much of a time since past. I considered then moving on to Nelson's On the Road Again, and faced the opposite problem--man, that song has some simple lyrics. I guess Shelley and Shakespeare are the sweet spot. 01:24 AYURIS: Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:56 -Shadowrift (Jeremy Anderson, Game Salute, 2012) 06:41 -Jetpack Joyride: Deluxe Edition (Michał Gołębiowski, Lucky Duck Games, 2019) 10:18 -Barcelona (Dani Garcia, Board&Dice, 2023) 14:22 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020) 17:17 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Sotirios Tsantilas, Artipia Games, 2016) 20:33 -Ready Set Bet (John D. Clair, AEG, 2022) 26:32 -Aegean Sea (Carl Chudyk, Asmadi Games, 2023) 34:52 -So Clover! (François Romain, Repos Production, 2021) 39:02 -Northgard: Un

As a certain talk-show huckster was wont to say, we train people how to treat us. Without absolving other people of their own responsibility, we can nonetheless take a certain amount of responsibility for entirely predictable reactions to our own decisions. "Don't feed the troll," goes the internet wisdom, and wise it is--Mark routinely fails to heed that good advice in the face of taunting by Walker. That said, Walker cannot claim to be long-suffering about Mark's mythological digressions while simultaneously goading him with mythologically-themed games.  Games Played Last Week: 01:41 -Demon Ship (Malev Da Shinobi, Black Site Studios, 2023) 06:05 -Space Base (John D. Clair, AEG, 2018) 10:22 -Snap Ships Tactics (Josh Derksen, Snap Ships, 2023) 15:00 -Knarr (Thomas Dupont, Bombyx, 2023) 19:39 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013) 23:00 -Orléans Stories (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2019) 26:18 -Dracula vs Van Helsing (Maxime Rmbourg and Théo Rivière, Mandoo Games, 2023) 29:02 -Caverna: Frantic Fiends (K

David Hume argued that all ideas are either simple or complex, and that in turn all complex ideas are merely composed of simple ideas. He wasn't a huge fan of some of those complex ideas; he used the example of a chimera, where you take a lion, a snake, and a goat (three simple ideas, but we can quibble with that later if you like) and smush them all together to get a complex idea. Hume was sceptical about complex ideas, to say the least. We can agree or disagree with Hume on many fronts, and indeed this is a podcast fundamentally aligned with German Idealism; but we would happily ally ourselves with the Humeans to declare with one unified voice that "phygital" is an abomination that must be purged. 01:37 AYURIS: Ultimate Railroads (Helmut Ohley & Leonhard "Lenny" Orgler, Hans im Glück, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:43 -Witchstone: Full Moon (Martino Chiacchiera & Reiner Knizia, R&R Games, 2023) 11:57 -Lacuna (Mark Gerrits, CMYK, 2023) 16:20 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 202

There was A Time Before. Historians no doubt will soon abandon the antiquated notions of BCE and CE, and will instead resort to the infinitely more practical Pre-SVWAG and Post-SVWAG eras. In the dim and distant past of Pre-SVWAG, people had the audacity to release games before we could weigh in on them officially. Whether this was borne of opportunism, undue haste, or some other impulse we will not speculate. 03:40 AYURIS: Khôra: Rise of an Empire (Head Quarter Simulation Game Club, IELLO, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 05:02 -The Defence of Procyon III (Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2021) 08:34 -Catacombs: Red Box (Aron West, Elzra, 2022) 10:40 -Snap Ships Tactics (Josh Derksen, Snap Ships, 2023) 17:03 -Wizards of the Grimoire (Cole Banning and Joe Banning, Grimoire Games, 2022) 19:01 -Super Fantasy Brawl (Jochen Eisenhuth, Mythic Games, 2022) 22:59 -Autobahn (Fabio Lopiano and Nestore Mangone, Alley Cat Games, 2022) 24:57 -Age of Civilization (Jeffrey CCH, ICE Makes, 2019) 29:05 -Mists over Carcassonne (Klaus-

Perhaps the greatest lingering question is how and why the Ethnos fantasy races were translated into academic professions for Archeos Society's re-theme. Apparently dwarves (Ethnos) are analogous to photographers (Archeos Society), and orcs (orc board!) are akin to curators. Odd. Halflings into students seems appropriately condescending.  As much as the comparison stings, though, I can't teally object into making trolls professors. I've met some that truly fit the description. Games Played Last Week: 03:07 -Race to the Raft (Frank West, The City of Games, 2023) 08:08 -Dorfromantik: The Board Game (Michael Palm and Lukas Zach, Pegasus Spiele, 2022) 14:30 -Too Many Bones: Dart (Adam Carlson & Josh J. Carlson, Chip Theory Games, 2020) 18:10 -Lords of Ragnarok (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2023) 26:58 -Blood Rage: Promos Box (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2019) 29:23 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Marco Portugal, & Sotirios Tsantilas, CMON, 2020) 32:22 -One Deck Galaxy (Chris Cieslik, Asmadi Games, 2022) 35:35

Some randomness is accepted nearly uncritically by many gamers. Conventional deckbuilders have exceptionally high variance as a rule, but no one bats an eye. We accept that anything martial might have mixed results, even after repeated attempts--in fact, many protest when the wound-making is too deterministic. Tiles from a bag? Sure. The instant that locomotion is involved, though, your typical gamer gets all shirty.  Magical Athlete would like a word. Games Played Last Week: 02:52 -Don't L.L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021) 06:00 -Lacuna (Mark Gerrits, CMYK, 2023) 08:25 -Picky Eaters (Tanya Basu and Avi Setton, Le Fou, 2024) 14:42 -Spirit Island: Nature Incarnate (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2023) 15:43 -Time Barons (Jon Perry and Derek Yu, WizKids, 2014) 19:07 -Kemet: Blood and Sand (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2021) 21:40 -Shards of Infinity (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2018) 25:36 -Merchant of Venus (Richard Hamblen, Avalon Hill, 1988) News (and

We offer to you a sampler, a little smorgasbord, a variety platter of content from our Patreon. We hope this will placate you in light of our absence last week. If you'd like more, you can of course support us on Patreon. Only if you want to, though. We'll still be wrong either way. www.patreon.com/SVWAG 03:46 Pledge of Indifference 2023-07-06 Audio (we also publish a video version) 03:56 Shipwrights of the North Sea 07:17 Tanares Adventures Ultimate Edition 11:41 Cyclades Legendary Edition 18:14 Buttons & Bugs 20:23 Other pledges: Planet Unknown Supermoon, Stroganov expansion  (Note: Mark did not end up backing Projekt Riese, but Walker did back Cyclades Legendary Edition) 21:23 BLOAT #18 21:44 World Beyond SVWAG--Returnal's storytelling, emergent vs. narrative storytelling, have difficulty with emergent storytelling in video games, but prefer it in board games, Nikki Valens  34:45 Meta Media--ethical standards of US Supreme Court, Thurgood and Cecilia Marshall, "dicta," rules textualism, For Sale, Towe