Intelligence Check

In our last episode the party reached a village of shifters and learned about the mysterious Steve's Tower. Kyle clearly had a better name in mind for that, but the players are basically children and he knows when it's best to just let the kids have their way. Rath was readying himself to be teleported in to the aforementioned Tower when the village came under attack. Deciding it would be best to seek an audience with Steve at a later time, they take to the ramparts to join in the defense. This would all be very noble of them if Tor and Blag didn't take the opportunity to try out something new that can only generously be described as a battle strategy. If nothing else, it is sure to inspire horror in the enemy, and everyone else around them. Kort invokes the name of Steve to strike just a little more fear in the hearts of the attackers. While Rath utilizes the advanced strategy of aiming for the head. And then Blag goes and takes it to a whole new level of groan-inducing attacks. Will our party actually con

Some important concepts to know for this episode- Mind flayer- Mysterious race with tentacles around their mouth. Needs to consume at least one intelligent brain a month to remain healthy. That last one's not related to our story, but is a fun tidbit. Electricity- Commonly used as a magical barrier. Resistant to hammers. Bad for tieflings. Separation Anxiety- What can happen when you take a dwarf away from shiny things. Shifter- A race believed to be descendants of humans and lycanthropes. They smell a little funky. Suspicious of clothing. Clear communication is important- For example, when a DM hands the players a map with terrible handwriting on it. Any resulting confusion isn't the players' fault. Mysterious Tower- Mysterious. Especially when you can't decipher the name given to the tower by the DM on their map. Be careful when touching mysterious towers. And of course, protect your eggs! Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other lis

In our last episode the team faced a series of challenges as they were led through the mountain by the Warforged Fergus. These challenges tested their moral character, willingness to sacrifice for others, and if they can get over their paralyzing fear of taking damage they can see coming. They also showed that they are willing to forget about ethical dilemmas as soon as they are able to move past them. And while they may be inclined to just gloss over what was done to that poor displacer beast, we here at the Episode Description Department feel it is our duty to hold them to account! Sure it had big claws with which it tried to kill the adventurers. But not one of them attempted to cuddle the tentacled murder-kitty! We've just been handed a note saying our job here is to talk about the current episode. Fine. Our adventurers continue through the mountain, facing the challenges Fergus leads them to. There is no cuddling in this episode. And yes, they do show a little mercy. But there is no discussion of the f

Having been led into the mountain by the mysterious living armor, the party discovers a series of traps, puzzles, and ethical dilemmas. That's all the the things these adventurers are the worst at! Chances are this won't go well. Having actually learned some lessons from previous adventurers, Kort and Rath try to be cautious. But Tor is around, and Tor is impulsive, kicking things off with a bang. Kort and Rath try very hard to not to suffer the consequences of that impulsiveness, but that doesn't work out. Someone gets a little mad about it. It's not all bad for the party though. Tor has a new shiny friend, Rath sees some fun tentacles, and Kort rolls poorly. Which is bad for him, but funny for everyone else. It turns out frustration is a great way to get emotion from these guys! Thankfully, Blag demonstrates his monk training by remaining calm and stoic. Despite having a -1 to his intelligence stat, he also still makes really good puns! And then he goes and does horrible, awful things in combat. Will this

In the last episode, our adventurers were about to get chomped on by a pack of dinos when a mysterious whistle drew the razor-clawed critters away. That's not ominous at all! The party decided to take a breather in the tree tops they found themselves in after having fled in terror from their imminent disembowelment. Now, with guidance from the spirit of Babushka, they set back out to continue their trek through the jungle. It quickly becomes apparent that the island does not welcome their presence! With the land itself resisting their progress, will our adventurers be forced back into their leafy sanctuary? What new mysteries will they discover in their explorations? And will they willingly walk into any obvious traps? If they are enticed by something shiny, of course they will! It's time to channel their inner survivor for man, half-elf, tiefling, and dwarf vs. wild!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/

Our last episode was a lot of ,"we're going to die", and ,"how's that unconscious guy floating for so long?" Then Kort was all like ,"I'll save everyone with magic." So, now the party has washed up on an island. Which is much more pleasant than drowning. Although, Tor seems a bit distracted. And oddly, his concern doesn't seem to be for his casino, which is now under water. It appears the mysterious Jade is on this island as well. Is she somehow responsible for stranding our adventurers there? Also, what is the deal with her and Kort? Perhaps he'll spin a tale about his own past deeds for once. As the party pushes deeper into the island, what strange predators will they encounter? And how will Blag horrifically dismember them? It's time to hold on to your butts! Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email

In our last episode Rath got hit very, very hard. He is down for the count and things are not looking good. In light of these events he has asked that we read the following statement- "I don't like this episode. I don't appreciate the abuse my body receives. I don't get to blast anything or use tentacles to mess with people. Also I've decided cruises are dumb. People pay for these?The food is supposed to be the big draw, and there isn't even a chef! So what if we are slightly responsible for that? I would like to thank my party members for their support through these difficult times. Except Tor. He needs to stop taking his shirt off. It's gross. Please direct any questions to my Attorney, Beaker. Thank you." How will our adventurers survive the ongoing water elemental assault? Will Tor resist the urge to unleash powerful spells in the area of Rath's body? Will anyone remember that there are passengers on board? It's time to sink or swim!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about

The nautical murder mystery is complete! Amazing everyone, our adventurers managed to discover the identity of the killer. But just when it looks like they might get to finish this trip in relative peace, another crisis rises. The team finds themselves face to face with one of their recurring foes- math. Really, the biggest lesson in all of this is to stay in school. Otherwise, you might end up fighting for your life on a cruise ship you didn't want to be on. A ship that you converted to a casino. After you fed all the people on board lightly poisoned rats. Actually that doesn't sound that bad. It would make a hell of a story at their high school reunions. Do they have high school in fantasy world? Kort says he went to Bard school, but who knows if that's true? And Rath was essentially home schooled. Until Derand "dropped out". Also, Blag is young enough to be in elementary school. Come to think of it, Blag should be in school! What kind of terrible adults are taking him on these crazy adventures, keeping hi

There's a killer loose, and for once it's not one of our adventurers! Also, having a body show up is probably terrible for the Tor's casino profits. Our team continues to stumble through their investigation, but surprising no one, they are terrible at this sort of thing. If only there were suspicious people doing suspicious things, this all would be so much easier! It's only a matter of time before one of the party suggests just taking out all the suspects. Will they discover who is behind the heinous deed? And if so, will that be because the DM decides to spell out the clues very clearly for them? Hopefully he gives them the nudges they need, because if this gets to Death Boat Part 24, the only thing that will be dying will be our subscriber numbers! Speaking of subscriber numbers... subscribe and leave a review on iTunes- podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/intelligence-check/id1241401679  Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and

In celebration of our one year anniversary, we are happy to present our first Behind the DM Screen! Join the cast of Intelligence Check as they discuss their recent murder mystery adventure. Did everything go according to Kyle's plans? Go behind the screen, if you dare! Or just if you are interested in that sort of thing. No pressure.  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equipment and hosting costs at https://ko-fi.com/intelligencecheck ! Theme song by Jet 'n' Joby Logo designed by Ed Rempfer

With their passage secured, our adventurers are left to their own devices aboard the ship. Which is generally just a bad idea. Kort enjoys some drinks while Tor suns himself on deck. But just when it seems like the rest of the trip is going to be all cocktails and skimpily clad dwarves, they learn one of the crew members has gone missing. Despite having no qualifications other than disappearing a few people themselves, our adventurers take it upon themselves to investigate. Blag and Kort search for clues and question witnesses. Meanwhile Rath and Tor take a different approach and sleep on the job. Will Kort resist his urges to steal from the victim of the crime? Will Tor put some clothes back on? Fingers crossed! It's time for some IC NCIS!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligenceche

Having solved their first batch of tasks with ingenuity and just a touch of poison, our adventures are set to take on their final naval odd jobs. Of course, they'll do so using their unique style of problem solving. Decide for yourself if you should be impressed or appalled with how they utilize boxing, pyramid schemes, and fight clubs to achieve their goals. And here you thought this podcast was about dungeons and dragons!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equipment and hosting costs at https://ko-fi.com/intelligencecheck ! Theme song by Jet 'n' Joby Logo designed by Ed Rempfer

Batten the hatches, get on the mainmast, and tie some knots ye scurvy dogs! It’s time for high seas adventure! After chasing Jade through the Red Halls, our adventurers find themselves on a ship that has set out to sea with Jade nowhere to be found. With their gold left in their bunks, the team is forced to work to pay for their passage. The crew of the ship is astute enough to not give our adventurers any important tasks, so they are left with a series of odd jobs and personal requests to take care of. In a burst of inspiration, or maybe just laziness, they concoct one of their most ridiculous plans yet. Avast! Abaft the beam! Anchor's aweigh! All aboard the Intelligence Check Cruise Line! Where we guarantee you might not get food poisoning!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligence

Don’t you just hate it when you travel and get home only to find your place has been trashed by a giant worm monster? Having realized the hard way that Rath should have hired some pest control services, our adventurers got out of that dungeon in a hurry! After all that fleeing, the party is about to get a visit from an old friend that's going to prompt a lot more cardio. These guys are going to be in great shape after all this! It could be the start to a new exercise fad- Get fit now by running from ravenous monsters, dodging giant spinning blades, climbing ropes and doing bad Mrs. Doubtfire impressions! Time to find out which of our adventurers is the biggest loser!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful i

Having found Alano, things are a bit tense at the end of Rath's dungeon. What with all the bodies, and Rath being shot by an arrow. Will our adventurers complete their mission to bring Alano back to the Red Halls? Or will they be themselves and make rash decisions? This situation may just be out of their control however, and things escalate quickly. Tor calls the Thunder, almost. And Kort mostly lands an Airplane! reference. Looks like he picked the wrong week to stop drinking (get it?). Hopefully Rath has more liability waivers around for the serious bodily harm coming their way!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equi

After successfully defending the Red Halls, our adventurers are given a quest by Anivari. Could this be the next step toward unraveling the mysterious riddle? Or is she just trying to get rid of them after hearing how Tor wanted to use the Climodile? The team gets a guided tour of Rath's business. And he gets a pointed lesson about consequences. Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equipment and hosting costs at https://ko-fi.com/intelligencecheck ! Theme song by Jet 'n' Joby Logo designed by Ed Rempfer

I love it when a plan comes together. (A-Team) Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. (Patton) Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live -- at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom! (Braveheart) Only the dead are without fear. (The Magnificent Seven) At my signal, unleash hell. (Gladiator) Oh, no. You did NOT shoot that green shit at me! (Independence Day) Happy 4th of July to our listeners in the US! Now that we have you pumped for the upcoming battle, enjoy this episode of Intelligence Check! Bring the Noise! (Hot Fuzz)  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Re

Having survived a serious of dastardly traps, our adventurers emerge from the tunnels to find the Red Halls. What was recently an abandoned ruin has been transformed into a city full of people, and apparently the restored headquarters of the Onyx Shields. Kort spies a figure in the distance with a striking similarity to Rath. Could it be Anivari, the sister Rath thought dead? Their touching reunion is quickly overshadowed by the impending Pearl Dagger attack. The party rallies to defend the city's people, and they consider strategies that have little regard for the city itself. Will they come up with a solid plan? And why would the Onyx Shields let these guys call the shots? Responsibility is hard when there's a Climodile around! If you've read this far please leave a review for us on iTunes! It only takes a minute and it really helps new people discover the show. If you do, Kyle has offered to immortalize you by adding your likeness to the Spa Tile! Don't believe that though. How could he when no one knows

In this episode we attempt to answer some of life's deeper questions. We ponder what lengths we will go to in order to avoid pain. We explore the nature of hunger. We reflect on our greed for magical crap. Is it's allure more powerful than our love of family? You'd think that one would be easy. We also contemplate our perception of mortality, and what tricks the DM can pull to get around that. Join us on our exploration of self, and our journey of using episode descriptions to make these dummies seem smarter than they really are.  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equipment and hosting costs at https://ko-fi.com/intelli

After realizing that Rath's sister could be in mortal danger, the team decides to brave the tunnels in an attempt to reach the Red Halls ahead of the Pearl Daggers. Little do they know that they are about to face a series of dastardly puzzles. Will they spend way too much time on one trap room? Of course they will. Join our adventurers as they face horrific puns, almost getting their boots wet, and their most baffling foe yet! It's a picture. Yep, just a picture. Nothing evil about it. And yet, it may be the thing that finally breaks them. It's time to test our collective patience!  Are you enjoying the show? Please help us grow and tell someone about it! Join the party members and other listeners on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.com Want to help support us? First off, you're wonderful if so! Merchandise is available at tee.pub/lic/18PfY6FQeuc and you can contribute to equ